NFC West Teams as WWE Superstars
By J. Loncarich
Two of my greatest loves in life are football and pro wrestling. It is rare to get the opportunity to combine the two, but this series will do that as I will find the WWE Superstars that most resemble every NFL franchise. It takes a very nuanced approach to find the right matches for each team as these WWE Superstars may best fit the whole team, the quarterback, the coach, or even the owner. All comments are welcome (especially the positive ones). So far, I have looked at these divisions:
Today, I look at what many believe is the best division in the league, the NFC West.
Arizona Cardinals – Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose is known for being a lunatic who is completely unpredictable. I feel like every area of the Arizona Cardinals is unpredictable. Will Carson Palmer be a solid quarterback again? Maybe. Are Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Floyd a great combination, good combination, or just slightly above average wide receivers? Probably good combination. Is Andre Ellington a lead back who could be a fantasy stud? I have no clue. With Jonathan Cooper back and Jared Veldheer brought in, is this a good offensive line? I think so, but we’ll see. Can the defensive line be a strength without Darnell Dockett? No clue. Do they have viable linebackers? We’ll see. Is Patrick Peterson a top cornerback? My eyes say yes, but advanced statistics say no. I do not feel comfortable making any strong predictions about this team, as I just can’t get a feel for them, much like I have no idea where Dean Ambrose’s future will take him. I know they are talented, but I have no idea how talented, and how far they can go with it. Either way, it will be fun to watch both going forward.
San Francisco 49ers – Goldust
This mostly relates to their head coach, Jim Harbaugh, who just seems like an interesting dude. Before the Goldust character, Dustin Rhodes was a straight-laced fellow who just wanted to wrestle as hard as his father did. Jim Harbaugh was initially seen as this as he played quarterback, but then got into coaching, following in his father (and brother’s footsteps). He was a media darling, as everyone saw him as the next great coach when he helped turn Stanford into a top-notch Pac-10 (now Pac-12) team, and then immediately turned the 49ers from laughingstock to playoff team. But much like Goldust, he began to exhibit some bizarre behavior. Now I’m not saying that Jim Harbaugh has started wearing women’s underwear, although it might add to the comfort of his Dockers, but he does exhibit behavior that is not common among adults. He was often seen jumping up and down and screaming on the sidelines, as he was basically throwing temper tantrums any time that things were not going his way. Still, Goldust has bounced back from his bizarre behavior to demonstrate that he is still a great talent in the ring, and I think that Jim Harbaugh can manage to have tantrums on the sideline while still being an effective coach for the 49ers.
St. Louis Rams – Rusev
The Rams have one goal for this season, and that is to crush. Their defensive line is terrifying, and they are going to blow through some of their opponents if they do not have a good offensive line. Rusev blows through jobbers like it’s nobody’s business as well. However, Rusev begins to struggle against top-notch competition, and the Rams are in the toughest division in football. Rusev has overcome mid-tier opponents, and the Rams should be able to do the same. However, they are going to have to beat elite teams like the 49ers and Seahawks if they want to reach that next level.
Seattle Seahawks – Daniel Bryan
Seattle’s undersized quarterback left people underestimating them. Daniel Bryan has constantly been deemed too small to be a main event player. They both preach positivity as Pete Carroll is the most positive guy in the world, and Daniel Bryan can’t help but chant yes at every available opportunity. They probably aren’t as great as a lot of people would like to tell you, but they are pretty great, and it’s pretty tough to have that big of a grudge against either one. The only thing that can get in their way from being champions is injuries. Unfortunately, Daniel Bryan is living that nightmare, and the Seahawks front office must make health their number one priority as injuries are the only thing that will keep them sleepless in Seattle.