NFL Festivus Airing of Grievances for each NFL Team

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Philadelphia Eagles

Nick Foles, Chip Kelly, LeSean McCoy, and others make up for these grievances, but there’s still plenty to be upset about in Philly. For starters, Cary Williams was the worst free agent signing that anyone made this offseason. Not only is the guy making a good amount of money, but he wasn’t even good to begin with. In Baltimore, he was famous for being below-average in coverage, shoving refs in the Super Bowl, and not backing up his talk. Then, he immediately causes problems in Philly by skipping out on workouts in the offseason, arbitrarily picking a fight with a rookie receiver to make a statement about the defense (maybe a statement about an inferiority complex or something, or maybe he just still really hates the Patriots), and by genuinely being bad. Oh well, at least Brandon Boykin and Bradley Fletcher (the former especially) are good.

But wait, there might have been a worse free agent signing than Williams? And the Eagles made it? Patrick Chung‘s deal wasn’t as bad as Williams (he’s a class act and leader), but he earned a long-term deal despite his injuries and inability to cover. Plus, for some odd reason, the Eagles like playing him at free safety, but it’s not like there are better options.

Dallas Cowboys

You followed up last week’s debacle against Green Bay by nearly losing to the pathetic Washington Redskins. Insolence, right? Jason Garrett‘s seat is as hot as anyone’s, but Cowboys fans have a lot more to grieve. As long as Jerry “What the heck is this salary cap thing about?” Jones is GM and owner at the same time, then the Cowboys will be mired in mediocrity. And oh yeah, have you seen that defense? Morris Claiborne being a bust to this point (mostly due to injuries) and injuries to Sean Lee and Anthony Spencer haven’t helped, but I guess you can still blame everything on Tony Romo if you want. Oh, and keep making up criticisms to throw at DeMarco Murray, because the 11th-most missed tackles among all running backs isn’t enough for you (thanks to PFF for that nugget).

New York Giants

Time to overhaul the entire offensive line, because Eli Manning can’t do anything of note if he’s terrified for his life. And Hakeem Nicks? It was nice knowing you. The Giants are deep enough at receiver, and they can use the money they would have spent on Nicks to pick up a true No. 1 corner.

Washington Redskins

Where do I start? RG3, why couldn’t you have been healthier and better so we could have avoided all of this nonsense? Get well soon. Dan Snyder, why did you have to exalt RG3 to deity status, be stubborn and cruel, and give Mike Shanahan a buyout clause? The Redskins need to make upgrades in the secondary as badly as anyone, and adding a No. 2 wide receiver to help out RG3, Pierre Garcon, and Jordan Reed would definitely help.

Carolina Panthers

If Steve Smith is out for an extended period of time, then grievance No. 1 is easy. But what else is there to complain about? Oh, I’ve got it: Byron Bell. The right side of the Panthers offensive line is what gives Panthers fans nightmares about Cam Newton getting knocked out. Thank goodness he’s bigger and tougher than most QBs. Can’t say the same about Jonathan Stewart‘s ability to avoid injuries, and his bad luck with the injury bug is a grievance of its own. And Gettleman? Please get a talented WR if you can, because Smith ain’t getting younger and Newton deserves one. Greg Olsen is an awesome TE and Brandon LaFell and Ted Ginn Jr. are nice pieces, but it’s time to take the offense to the next level.

New Orleans Saints

I hate out left tackles, and I hate how a mediocre left tackle like Jermon Bushrod can end up getting a ridiculous sum of money. Drew Brees had better have good protection here on out, because he can’t have any impediments in shootouts. Why? Jabari Greer and Kenny Vaccaro are injured, and the pass defense can’t be trusted.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Four key offensive players in Carl Nicks, Mike Williams, Doug Martin, and Mike James have suffered significant injuries this year. But the biggest grievance of them all? Greg Schiano. To some Buccaneers fans, he’s like the ketchup stain you can’t get rid of.

Atlanta Falcons

Same boat as Texans fans. If only Roddy White, Sam Baker, and Julio Jones were healthy for the entire season. If only Matt Ryan didn’t have to do everything due to a dysfunctional offensive line and defense. If only John Abraham were willing to stay. If only Tony Gonzalez could stay for another year.

Green Bay Packers

The Aaron Rodgers injury. That’s enough grief to write a book on the subject.

Chicago Bears

Last night’s box score; injuries to Charles Tillman, Lance Briggs, and Henry Melton; the entire defense, really.

Detroit Lions

That’s it Jim Schwartz. This collapse can’t be forgiven, and it’s time for you to pay. We had less injuries than the Packers and Bears, and our roster is better than the roster of both of those teams. Yet, here we are…out of the playoffs after a collapse the Cowboys would be proud of. We’re undisciplined, and we lost to the New York Giants on the same day that both the Bears and Packers lost. You’ve escaped scotch-free for far too long, and you are a bigger source of grief than that slimy box of pizza that costed Nate Burleson several games.

Minnesota Vikings

Josh Freeman should be pleased by your act of charity, but you can make up for that signing by firing Leslie Frazier. The gameplan on defense has been criticized by players throughout the season, and it’s time for Frazier to go and for a new QB to come in. Just make sure it’s someone who has a decent arm. But it’s not all your fault, coach, because we’ve had some awful luck at the end of games. I mean, remember that Ravens game? It’s time to add a legit shutdown CB, and hopefully that makes up for letting Antoine Winfield go.

Seattle Seahawks

I know it’s legal in the state of Washington, but why’d you have to do it Brandon Browner and Walter Thurmond? Don’t put yourself in that position. But anyway, biggest grievance is against Goodell’s office here. I hope you go down hard for this Browner fiasco.

Another grievance? Percy Harvin‘s fragility.

San Francisco 49ers

Sometimes, you can’t help but think what the San Francisco 49ers record would be had Michael Crabtree been healthy for the whole season.

Arizona Cardinals

Screw this division, why can’t we play in the NFC East or something?

St. Louis Rams

Don’t worry, we hate this division, too. We also hate season-ending injuries to our starting quarterback, especially ones that force us to start Kellen Clemens. Moreover, our Pro Football Reference SRS score was higher than every team in both the NFC East and NFC North, coming into this week’s slate of games. We’re a solid 6-4 outside of this cutthroat division, and that’s without a functional secondary. Robert Quinn for DPOY, right?

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Topics: Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Diego Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tennessee Titans, Washington Redskins

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  • Stanley Turner

    Please no team has more injuries in the last two years than the Steelers

    • http://www.musketfire.com/ Joe Soriano

      The Big Ben injury last year was absolutely killer, and another “ugh” injury for the Steelers was the one to Levi Brown. They get him from the Cardinals, hope he can be a nice upgrade over Mike Adams at LT, and then he gets injured for the year in pre-game warm-ups before his first game.

  • Cheyenne Kid

    Von’s injury is a sprained knee which is not a major injury. He will miss the Oakland game and then should be ready to go for the second round game we just secured with the Texans win last Sunday!

    • http://www.musketfire.com/ Joe Soriano

      He has a torn ACL, as reported by Mike Klis.

      • Cheyenne Kid

        Yeah, found out more last night. Nate Irving filled in for the rest of that game and did a good job. Feel for Von though!

        • http://www.musketfire.com/ Joe Soriano

          Same here, such an awful injury for both him and the Broncos. Wishing the best in his recovery, and hopefully Nate Irving can do a solid job. The onus is on the secondary, though, since there’s plenty of talent back there; it’s time for those guys to get the job done in the postseason.

          • Cheyenne Kid

            We will get Rahim Moore back at least by our second round game which will help. Mike Adams really stepped up with a great game changing pick and Dominuque also picked up one later. But yes our depth has been a strength at various points this season. And Champ is 100% now and will help settle their backfield down as he gets some reps in!

          • http://www.musketfire.com/ Joe Soriano

            Moore’s return is going to be huge for the Broncos, because his improved play this season has been an underrated storyline for the Broncos, imo. When you have an FS who is assured in deep coverage, it gives your CBs so much more breathing room and can allow them to gamble a little bit more (you can see this effect in Seattle whenever Sherman jumps routes, because he can rest easy knowing that Thomas will cover for him).

          • Cheyenne Kid

            Thanks and have a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas, Joe!

          • http://www.musketfire.com/ Joe Soriano

            Thanks, and a merry Christmas to you too, Cheyenne Kid! Always love kind words and good football discussion, and hopefully you get a Chris Harris Jr. jersey haha. He’s my favorite player on the Broncos. Take care.

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