Witness: Kellen Winslow Jr Was Masturbating In His Car

Sep 8, 2013; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; New York Jets tight end Kellen  Winslow (81) makes a catch against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers during the first half at MetLife Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

The police report from Kellen Winslow Jr’s arrest for using synthetic pot earlier in the year has been released and it has some interesting details on it. He was arrested in front of a Target in East Hanover back in November. The police were called to the scene because a woman thought that Winslow was masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot.

MASTURBATING!

Here is the exact notes from the report:

"She pulled into a parking space to the right of an Escalade and noticed a male sitting in the driver seat with the window open. As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account."

Awesome Kellen. Just awesome.

When the cops arrived, they noticed some plastic bags marked “Mr Happy” and some empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” and there were also two open containers of Vaseline on his center console! Winslow told the police he smoked “Mr Happy” and “Funky Monkey” at his home because the NFL doesn’t drug test for it. The police searched the car and took some items for evidence and he was arrested in Decmeber for possession of synthetic marijuana.

But what was Winslow doing with the Vaseline?