Fantasy Football 101: Team Names

Jun 15, 2014; San Antonio, TX, USA; ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith before game five of the 2014 NBA Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat at AT&T Center. Mandatory Credit: Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

Guidelines for Picking a Team Name:

• No profanity.
• Has to make at least some sense.
• Has to be somewhat related to football/sports
• Can be something you can put “the” in front.
• You can add an “s” at the end of it.
• Has to be relatively funny and/or witty.
• At times can be an alliteration.
• Has to make people get angry if you beat them.

1. Start with your actual name.
   Examples: Kyle’s Kabobs/Demoldey Donuts/The Jack-o-lanterns/Keith’s Kangaroos/Brady Nation
   Usually when choosing a team name with your actual name/last name in it, you want to be cautious because that could invite some hatred among league members. Also typically when using your actual name, you want to use an alliteration with either the beginning letter or certain sounds within your name such as Keith’s  Wreaths or Jacks Stacks. Actual names can be fun because it shows that the team is yours and yours alone.
2. Place where you are living/born.
   Examples-C-Bad West Siders/B-Side Clippers/Chicago Bricklayers/L.A. Smog/Encinitas Burnouts/West Philly Cheese Steaks
   Some of these names may sound like street gangs, but if you can make it a play on words and make it sound good, you can definitely pull it off. Typically the first part of the name is location of wherever you live (or a random place), while the second part of the team name is typically a group of people or thing that is found in that location. For example you can find smog in L.A.
3. Use actual NFL team names.
   Examples-Dallas Cowboys/Indianapolis Colts
   Probably the most unoriginal of the options, however when you have zero creativity this is the best option. It’s basically an option for when you are just starting out with fantasy and have no originality whatsoever. In the case that you use an actual NFL team name, it will either be your favorite team or a team that is doing well at the time.
4. Turn NFL team names into puns.
   Examples-Blitzburgh Steelers/Atlanta Fail-cons/Seattle She-hawks
   With these type of team names, they typically involve play on the name of the city or mascot. For instance for the city of New York, one could turn that into New Pork if they wanted to be punny. Typically these team names are unoriginal or stupid, however if you can think of a really clever pun, I support this option with all my heart.
5. Use common fantasy football terms
   Examples-Sleepers Squad/Waiver Wire Walkers/Trades Anonymous/Waiver Wire Inc.
   Typically these names are for those players who are seasoned veterans of fantasy football; these guys know their vocabulary and how to use it. These aren’t necessarily the most exciting names, but they get the job done never-the-less.
6. Pop Culture References
   Examples-The Based Gods/The Beliebers/Teddy Westside Commadores/North West West Westerners/The T-Squares/Los Pollos Hermanos
   The easiest because it uses catchy and random stuff that people use to troll the internet. Sure it may be annoying and incomprehensible, they are still great and pretty funny. Commonly these names involve TV shows or movies or music to create their names. As well, these could be catch phrases or slogans from television and advertising.
7. Inside Jokes
   Examples-The Scoop Slam-Dunks/The Friendly Ghosts/Chino Cochinos/Broncos D/Niko Bellic and the Boys
   Unless you are doing a fantasy league with your friends or people you know from your school/work, inside jokes probably aren’t the best idea. However, they usually are the funniest team names in my opinion. If you are with friends or co-workers, use inside jokes that are appropriate to use. Don’t be talking about some person’s mother if it’s inappropriate. But if you’re with your buddies, feel free to make fun of their ex-girlfriends and the embarrassing things they’ve done all you want.
8. Reference to Football Terms
   Examples-The Shortest Yard/Forth and Out/Thirst Down
   Honestly these are kind of no brainers and have no place in fantasy football leagues. The only way you can make football terms relatively acceptable is if they are funny and clever. Otherwise, please keep them out.
9. Random and absurd
   Examples-XRTYV/Team Swag/What What?/iiTheBirdmanii/Team Name
   Basically any random crap people can think of to put as team names.
10. Names of your players ***Best Option***
    Examples-Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe/Watcha talkin’ bout Hillis?/Barber for my Bush/Favre Dollar Footlong/Romo-sapiens
    This is the most popular/awesome way to pick a fantasy team name. Simply pick one of your best player or players that has the funniest last name and make a pun. Now you can look up normal team names off the web and see if you like them, however I feel originality is key when creating a team name after a player. Of course puns need to be involved. If there are no puns, what is the point?