NFC East Teams As WWE Superstars

Two of my greatest loves in life are football and pro wrestling. It is rare to get the opportunity to combine the two, but this series will do that as I will find the WWE doppelganger for every NFL franchise. It takes a very nuanced approach to find the right matches for each team as a WWE Superstar may best fit the whole team, the quarterback, the coach, or even the owner. All comments are welcome (especially the positive ones). Now onto part one, where I tackle the NFC East.

Dallas Cowboys – Bo Dallas

This one goes far beyond the name. They are both completely delusional. They both think that everybody loves them, when nearly everyone despises them. Despite that, everybody has to admit that they are intrigued no matter how good or bad the team looks on paper. They treat every win as if they won the Super Bowl, which is good, because that is as close as they are going to get to the big one. They are a perfect match, as maybe the Cowboys can reach their dreams if they can simply Bo-lieve.

New York Giants – AJ Lee

The Giants have won two Super Bowls recently, yet they still play little brother to the New York Jets when it comes to media attention. Their quarterback plays second fiddle to his brother despite winning twice as many Super Bowls as Peyton. No matter what they do, they are consistently overshadowed. AJ is the same way in that she is the Divas Champion, but everybody just chants for her husband, retired WWE Superstar CM Punk, anytime that she comes out. Nobody really hates the Giants; they will cheer for them if there is no better option, but the Giants leave everyone hoping for that better option. It isn’t fair, but it is the plight they must deal with, much like AJ as the leader of the Divas division.

Philadelphia Eagles – Seth Rollins

The Eagles are new age football, and Rollins is new age wrestling. It can be spastic, occasionally too much for people to handle, but it definitely adds excitement. These new methods have turned both of them into contenders, but the question remains whether small and quick can beat big and slow, or if they will eventually get smashed by a more physical opponent.

Washington Redskins – The Miz

They have the glamour and publicity, but they are a whole lot of flash with very little substance. They feel they are above regular social norms. They used to be champions, and they can always (and will always) hang their hats on that, but the game has passed them by. They are mid-tier contenders who may sneak into the playoffs (or Intercontinental Title), but they are not going to win the big one. Still, their historical relevance is far greater than they get credit for, as people often only want to focus on the negatives, and headlining a WrestleMania and winning a Super Bowl is nothing to sneeze at. Unfortunately, most people can’t get past how Dan Snyder and The Miz compete for most punchable face on the planet.