AFC West Teams as WWE Superstars
By J. Loncarich
Two of my greatest loves in life are football and pro wrestling. It is rare to get the opportunity to combine the two, but this series will do that as I will find the WWE doppelganger for every NFL franchise. It takes a very nuanced approach to find the right matches for each team as a WWE Superstar may best fit the whole team, the quarterback, the coach, or even the owner. All comments are welcome (especially the positive ones). After last week’s successful look at the WWE Superstars that best matched up with the NFC East, it is time to look at the AFC West.
Denver Broncos – Brock Lesnar
When Peyton Manning is on, he appears to be an unstoppable force that cannot be contained. When Von Miller is healthy and playing, he is similar in what he can do in the pass rush. Just the thought of facing these guys has opposing coaches lying in their own blood, urine, and vomit. Okay, so maybe they aren’t quite as terrifying as Brock Lesnar, but the Broncos are still a terrifying team. Although sometimes both Lesnar and the Broncos look unbeatable, it has been proven repeatedly that everything and everyone can be beaten if faced with the proper matchup. The Broncos added Aqib Talib and DeMarcus Ware to minimize their chances of losing, and Lesnar only wrestles three times a year. They are divergent strategies, but they both have the potential to be viable and lead them to the championship that they desire.
Kansas City Chiefs – Ryback
Kansas City came out of the gates on fire last year as they were able to destroy everything in their path early on in the season. They stumbled near the end of the year, but then dominated in the first half against the Colts before succumbing to an outstanding comeback led by Andrew Luck. Ryback followed much the same path as he looked on his way to beating CM Punk for the WWE Championship before being attacked by The Shield. Ryback has since fallen on hard times as his Rybaxel tag team with Curtis Axel have never even become legitimate contenders for the tag team titles. Many feel like the Chiefs could take a major step backwards this year with a rebuilt offensive line and a defense that is probably due for some regression. Andy Reid has shown he is a consistent winner, but he still has his work cut out for him to keep the Chiefs in the title picture.
Oakland Raiders – Bray Wyatt
At first glance, both seem totally badass. They are supposed to be this evil cult that can dominate the world, which is awesome. Unfortunately, all they do is lose. They need to focus on relevance instead of some higher goal of the Raider Way that has not been relevant for over a decade. Bray Wyatt keeps saying and doing the same things and expecting different outcomes, which seems to describe the Raiders pretty well. Despite all of that, they will continue to be cool, so bravo to their marketing.
San Diego Chargers – Kane
It seems like they shouldn’t still be around in contention for playoff spots. Despite roster and coach turnover, they are still the same team that relies on a dynamic passing attack with versatile running backs. They aren’t great, but they have had some great moments, and they are never far out of the conversation. Kane switching to Corporate Kane and back again may have been a little off-putting, but the same can be said of Philip Rivers transformation from good quarterback to bad quarterback back to good quarterback again. Rivers was basically left for dead as a quality starting quarterback, but he pulled the team together to put up a quality season. I just hope he didn’t have to become the devil’s favorite demon to do it.