Ride or Die, Week 1

In fantasy football there is nothing I hate more than start ’em / sit ’em columns. I know I shouldn’t say hate. It’s a strong word. I was raised better. Still, I do hate start ’em/ sit ’em writings of any kind. I am sorry if you, the person sitting there reading this are a creator of these preposterous prattle. It’s a struggle for me to comprehend why I would ever base any decision about my team in the hands of a dude (or gal) I don’t even know.

This is not his team. It’s not your team. It’s my team. All roster moves, waiver wire pick ups, trades, wins and loses are mine. All of my moves made from research or desperation are mine. For better or worse at least I have my pride.

That goes for you to. You. The guy (or gal) sitting there reading this thinking I am going to tell you who you should sit and who you should start. There’s one consummate fact above all else when you, the reader take in advice from me or any fantasy expert out there. I don’t know your team. I don’t know your roster. I don’t know where you drafted. I don’t even know what your team name is? Nickfoleon Dynamite?

Clever.

Aug 28, 2014; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Nick Foles (9) on the sidelines during game against the New York Jets at Lincoln Financial Field. The Eagles defeated the Jets, 37-7. Mandatory Credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Anyway.

All I want you to do is see the little bits of info that are out there. Yes, I believe you should play your studs. No, I don’t think you should sit Marshawn Lynch for Fred Jackson. I am sure about one thing. You’re going to get a lot of noise whilst researching for your fantasy football team. My only hope is my little bits of info can help you make decisions that better your chances at a championship.

O.K. Before we dive into it I just want say one more thing. I promise. We’re almost there. Just remember, have fun. This isn’t a job. This isn’t more important that your real life relationships. It’s merely an exercise in amusement. Not to mention a full onslaught of name calling and being better than your friends at something.

And awayyyyy we go..

Quarterbacks to Ride With:

Matt Ryan- He wasn’t even a top 15 QB in fantasy last season. What do you expect when a guy lose Julio Jones and has a hobbled Roddy White. This season will be the season of comebacks and I say why not Matt Ryan. He’s been a top guy before when his two favorite targets are healthy. He also plays better at home. Last season his QB rating was an impressive 102.6 inside the friendly confines of the Georgia Dome. The last thing I’m going to say is shoot-out. The Falcons face the Saints and last I checked, these two teams did not specialize in great defense. If you’re in the situation of choosing Ryan or let’s say Philip Rivers I can see you’re dilemma. How big of a steak you’re going to order to celebrate your week one victory.

Aug 28, 2014; Cleveland, OH, USA; Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler (6) before a game against the Cleveland Browns at FirstEnergy Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Ron Schwane-USA TODAY Sports

Jay Cutler- He’s trendy. That’s for sure. Everyone knows by now that the Bears QB’s were in the top five for fantasy scoring as a team. So the thinking is that if Jay Cutler can stay on the field he can be a top five fantasy quarterback. I believe it. I truly believe he can do it. Marc Trestman knows what he’s doing there in Chicago. This team loves its offense and they love the weapons they have to play with. Buffalo might have improved on defense. However, that Buffalo ‘O’ will be just that. A big fat zero. The Bears are going to have an extended practice this Sunday. Sorry Buffalo fans.

Colin Kaepernick- I was down on him going into last year and I was right. This year he has a fully healthy Michael Crabtree and Anquan Boldin. When he had both those guys his numbers increased towards the end of 2013. I know. I’m hardly buying my argument here. You have to look at the match-up. Dallas. Which stands for the Big Dump of a Defense. He won’t have games like this every week, but you can enjoy week one at least.

Quarterbacks to Die With:

Russell Wilson- I’ve been tinkering with a rule. Something about not playing guys on Thursday Night. First, it’s a little anti-climatic when you’re quarterback gets a mediocre game and you have to suffer through four more days just so you watch your opponent beat you. Ugh..

Aaron Rodgers- Listen. If you write me and curse me out because you sat Aaron Rodgers because of me I’m going to slap you. Not physically. I’m not getting arrested for assault. I will however berate you with a verbal onslaught of mockeries. I just don’t think, in prime time, in week one you’re going to see the A-Rodge that you drafted. Don’t worry. He’ll be back. You’re just going to have to suffer and watch this game against Seattle.. On Thursday.. Alone.. Because it’s going to be painful.

Tom Brady- For almost the same reason as Rodgers I think Brady isn’t his best in week one. I think the talent is there. His receivers are one more year older. Which means they’re one more year older a Patriot. Miami will be a tough enough defense to start his season against. The Pats won’t be shut out. Far from it. It is going to take a week or so before the Tom Brady Comeback 2014 Tour gets moving.

Running Backs the Ride With:

Arian Foster- There’s a chance you drafted him later than you thought he would go. There’s a reason for that. This is the season, at least some people think.. This is the season he breaks down. He can’t stay healthy. The Texans offense isn’t the sane as it used to be. While both of those things are true you must remember that they face the football team from Washington. They can’t stop a protest let alone a rushing attack. There’s a chance this is the best week you get out of Foster. Then again, he’s surprised us before.

C.J. Spiller- Who remembers 2013? I do. I remember how fun it was to own a running back facing the Chicago Bears. They allowed the 32nd ranked rushing defense with 2,583 yards allowed. They ranked 31st in touchdowns allowed giving up 22. Who remembers Brandon Jacobs return from the dead game versus the Bears on Monday Night. I do. This is the season of comebacks. Spiller’s turn is now.

Zac Stacy- Something tells me the Rams are going to lean heavily on their starting running back. Ever since Sam Bradford went down in the pre-season with a torn ACL in his knee what ever hopes were up in St. Louis dropped quickly. I don’t get it. Honestly. Bradford might be better than Shaun Hill but I got a feeling this is still an upgrade from Kellen Clemons a year ago. Either way, Stacy was sure to get a lot of work. He might surprise you in a PPR league this week also.

Running Backs to Die With:

Eddie Lacy- Again. If I hear about how you sat him I will blatantly ignore your shrill. It’s week one. You’re going to start your studs. I just hate it when my guy will be going against Seattle this year. It’s not the start I was hoping for but I digress.. It is a long season.

Aug 28, 2014; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Doug Martin (22) stands on the sidelines as the Washington Redskins beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24-10 at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: David Manning-USA TODAY Sports

Doug Martin- Carolina won’t be any easier to run against. They aren’t dumb. They know their offense is under construction. They need a stellar defense. They might just have one. This has less to do with my general hatred for Doug Martin than it does his match-up this week. Ugh.. I just got the chills.

Giovani Bernard- If I’m getting nervous about week one match-ups it’s the Bengals versus the Ravens. This game has fantasy black hole written all over it. You have two historically pretty good defenses facing off in a divisional game in week one. I have a feeling no one throws for over 300 and no running back  rushes for over 100. Final score is something like 16-6. Ready. Set. Kickers.

Wide Receivers to Ride With:

Percy Harvin- Let’s keep the same theme with comebacks. It’s been a long time coming for Percy Harvin. He showed some of what he can do in the Super Bowl against Denver. The Packers may hit hard but they also tend to give up the big play a few times a game. Exactly the kind of game Seattle will get Harvin out into some space to make those big plays.

Julio Jones- I mentioned before I though this game would end up in a shoot-out. Who do think will reap the rewards? I can tell you it won’t be Tony Gonzalez. He’s retired. Julio Jones did not. He’s very much not retired. Thank goodness for you, if you own him. Bad news if you don’t.

Michael Crabtree- Do you think he’s still a little mad after that playoff game in Seattle? It seems like a forever ago but it was only back in February that he was made to look like a chump. I bet he can’t wait to get out there and make the big plays all 49ers fans are hoping for. A disastrous looking Dallas defense looks ripe enough for Crabtree to take advantage of.

Eric Decker- He’s getting an honorable mention here just because of his match-up. It’s Oakland. I have a sneaky feeling Rex Ryan finds a way to get their new toy a touchdown pass.

Wide Receivers to Die With:

Mike Evans- Carolina doesn’t just stop the run. They can stop the pass also. They gave up the sixth fewest amount of yards to QB’s last season. The rookie will be good. He’s just going to get a hard welcome into the NFL. Wait a week.

Aug 9, 2014; Detroit, MI, USA; Detroit Lions wide receiver Golden Tate (15) is announced before the game against the Cleveland Browns at Ford Field. Mandatory Credit: Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

Golden Tate- I have heard some of the love going around for him. I don’t want to be the leader of the hate but I feel like somebody must. The Giants aren’t an easy play for receivers. They were the 10th ranked defense against the pass and gave up the seventh fewest amount of touchdowns. Calvin probably gets in, he is Megatron after all. I’m not holding out for Mr. Tate however.

Dwayne Bowe- I have a feeling you’re going to get sick of seeing his name here this season. Seriously, I bet he’s a nice guy. Probably fun at parties. Maybe he knows how to juggle. I’d be envious of him if he can. I simply don’t want him anywhere near my fantasy football team, however. I’ll get a restraining order. I’ll do it!

Hakeem Nicks- I’m a Giants fan so when I heard we lost Nicks to free agency I was a little sad. I wanted to see if he could come back to his old form for Big Blue. Now that I’ve seen what I’ve seen through the pre-season and heard what I’ve heard from Colts camp I’m glad he left. This is the only time I expect to write about Hakeem Nicks this season. Now I’m sad for a different reason.

Tight Ends to Ride With:

Ladarius Green- I truly believe that if you’re going to own one Chargers’ tight end this season that it should be him. The Chargers opponent in week one, Arizona has been stricken with the injury bug early. It’s too bad because they were potentially a good defense to own all season. Now I feel like it’s a good defense for a certain San Diego tight end to have a breakout game against.

Martellus Bennett– If there was one thing Buffalo was good at last season it was covering tight ends. If you drafted him I’d be considering other options this week.

Tight Ends to Die With: 

Jul 24, 2014; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski (87) rests during training camp at the team practice facility. Mandatory Credit: Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports

Rob Gronkowski- Week one is always weird. Things you expect to happen don’t at an alarming rate. It’s a learning experience for everyone involved. The Patriots have already said they don’t plan on playing Gronky Kong on all the offensive snaps. Sounds like they want to save him for deeper in the season. Don’t feel bad if you used a fourth round pick on him. You will be rewarded for you loyalties. Tyler Eifert- He’s a little banged up. Plus, the Bengals aren’t historically known for using their tight end a lot. There might be games he gives you something. I’m just looking else where for now.

Defense / Special Teams to Ride With:

Detroit- Something tells me their will be plenty of turn overs in this game.

Kansas City- I really don’t think you’re getting the Chiefs defense of September and October of last year. It’s the Titans. How much are we really xpecting out of them? You can drop them on Monday and then pick them back up for week three.

New England- This defense is going to surprise a lot of people out there. I don’t think they’re a Seattle or even a Carolina but they will be a top 5 defense by the end of the season.. Mark my words.

Defense / Special Teams to Die With:

San Francisco- O.K. Story time. A quick one. I promise. So I started a Dynasty League with some of the more serious fantasy football players I know. It was an auction draft. Seattle was the first defense nominated and shortly after someone then nominated the 49ers defense. I had no intentions of owning them but that’s exactly what happened. A bid came in for $2 and I, like the sly devil I am tried to raise the price. Well.. No one else bid. The rest is history and I’ve already put a claim in for New England. I hope no one from my league reads this first.

Indianapolis- The Colts face Denver dude. You’re gonna have a bad time. Drop them. Then pick them back up in week 2. This will be a good defense this season. Just not in week 1.

There you have it. The first edition of the 2014 edition of Ride or Die. Any of those comments or questions you have you can just mosey on down to that big ol’ box. That’s where you can type to your little hearts contempt.