Fantasy Football Ride or Die Week 5
“Hey cous, I got this really great idea for your website. What if you geared it towards women? Make it like, so they can learn how to play fantasy football?”
My cousin said this to me last year while we were out having a few drinks watching football in a bar in New York City. I had been talking about re-creating how we play fantasy football on the internet. He had a decent idea that he thought would go along with mine. After we talked about it some more the idea turned into a fantasy football dating site. I don’t know if it had any legs but needless to say neither myself or my cousin ran with the idea.
Women don’t need their own website. The sites that are out there for fantasy football are good for men or women. I’m not sure where my cousin saw the need for his idea. It’s probably why we never did anything. If women, or men want to play fantasy football it’s because you can have tremendous amounts of fun. Not only watching the games but the relationships you can obtain through it all. Heck, fantasy football has been known to help people find love. No, it’s true. I know of at least one instance.
I knew this girl. Let’s call her Pam (I’ll change the names to protect the innocent.) She had this crush on a guy I knew. We’ll call him Stan. So Pam needed something to get Stan’s attention. Something they could relate to each other with. She knew Stan played this thing called Fantasy Football so Pam asked her girlfriend..Oh..I dunno..We’ll call her Fran. Fran was her only female friend that played Fantasy Football. So she asked for some advice on how to start. Fran, with the help of her boyfriend..I’m running out of names.. He can be Ted. He and Fran got Pam started towards being a Fantasy Football Player.
Fran and her boyfriend had Pam come by their place and watch some NFL Network and some YouTube video’s on football and of course fantasy football. She bought a fantasy magazine and on a Friday night in August she did her nails and learned about snake drafts and auction drafts, what a PPR league was..etc, etc. She even hung out with other guy friends, watching and talking football with them. She still needed one thing however. Pam wasn’t in a league yet.
Fran then started a “Couples League” with her boyfriend and some of their friends and invited Pam. The plan was to have Pam ask Stan to be her partner in the league. Pam saw him out one night and started talking fantasy with him. Stan was impressed, as a matter of fact. So Pam mustered up the courage and asked Stan to join the couples league with her. Stan declined. It was something about not having enough time or being in too many leagues already or whatever his excuse was. I actually don’t remember his excuse. What I really remember was that he was kind of a dick about it. So Pam was left alone to draft her team.
It was an online draft so she sat there on her laptop on draft night with a bowl of Hershey kisses and drafted her team. She pretty much did the best she could. She allowed the computer to auto-draft most of her team. Still, she sat there and watched. She was proud of her Rob Gronkowski pick.
Well, just before Week one of the NFL season Pam was out with Fran and her boyfriend..What did we name him? Oh yea! Ted! Anyway, she met them at a local pub. After a few drinks the discussion came up about their fantasy teams. Pam, who had been learning all she could over the last few weeks was spouting out info left and right. Fran and Ted were very impressed. Now, a lot of what she was saying wasn’t necessarily correct but she seemed to know a lot about who the players were dating. Alex, a friend of Ted’s was with them at the bar this particular night and was shocked at her knowledge and enjoyment of fantasy football. Mostly her enjoyment.
After a few minutes of ‘How do you do’ Pam and Alex were off on their own talking draft positions and strategy. It’s been a couple of years now and they currently live together in Manhattan and are in the midst of their third season in the “Couples League.” They finished third last year.
So you see, there is love in fantasy football.
Let’s get to the Ride or Die already..
Quarterbacks to Ride With:
Philip Rivers – He’s thrown for over 250 yards in three of the first four weeks. He’s also thrown multiple touchdowns in three of the first four weeks. The Jets on the other hand are allowing 24 points per game to opposing QB’s. I’m all in on whoever the QB is facing the Jets.
HAHA! That’s real funny Tony. ..I’m still better than you.
Drew Brees – I’ve heard or read some things that are almost putting Brees in the Tom Brady category. I don’t know why. The Saints win/ loss record isn’t indicative on how he’s been performing. The Saints are still throwing the ball a lot as per their m.o. Brees has attempted 40 passes in all but one of the first four games. He has thrown an un-Brees-like three INT’s thus far but I’ll chalk that up to being behind in games thanks to his soft defense. The Buccaneers are currently allowing the 7th most points to quarterbacks.
Joe Flacco – I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the Ravens rushing attack is blah. It isn’t awful, but it’s just not something I’m writing home about. Flacco is being asked to make more plays with his arm. Thanks to Steve Smith Sr. I’m OK with that. Last week he showed just how defective the Panthers secondary truly is. The Colts are middle of the road when it comes to pass defense but win or lose Flacco should have some really decent numbers here.
Quarterbacks to Die With:
Matt Ryan – I still don’t like him on the road. For his career he has a completion percentage that is 6% lower and a rating 14 points less than when he is in the friendly confines of the Georgia Dome. I don’t know if you’re sitting him here as your pickings I am sure are slim but you should not expect great numbers out of him. The Giants secondary is not who you thought they were. Also, the Falcons line is as shaky as ever.
Kirk Cousins – Seattle didn’t scare Rivers in week two.. But Cousins ain’t Rivers. After a very mortal outing last week versus the Giants, Cousins won’t have the kind of bounce back game his fantasy owners or Washington would have in mind.
Tony Romo – The Cowboys have finally made a smart offensive decision. They are going to run the ball more and rely less on Romo’s arm and head. He has thrown less than 30 passes in every game except week one. He has not thrown for 300 yards yet this season. If it wasn’t for the three scores last week against the Saints he would have had pretty run-of-the-mill numbers last week. The Texans allow the fifth least amont of points to QB’s this season.
Tom Brady – You can drop him. I hear Blake Bortles is a starter now.
Best. Job. Ever. Just hope Manuel doesn’t get benched.
Kyle Orton – No, please. Don’t.
Running Backs to Ride With:
DeMarco Murray – A lot of writers out there were saying that Scott Linehan was going to make Tony Romo the quarterback we’ve always wanted him to be. This was mostly due to his offensive success in Detroit. Instead it’s Murray who’s becoming the focal point. Why? Because Linehan ain’t no dummy. He knows who the more talented players are on his team and guess what.. It’s not Romo.
Matt Forte – They are not who we thought they were. Speaking of the Carolina defense. I cannot pin point why, but the Panthers ‘D’ is not the same this season. Currently they’re giving up the 8th most points to opposing backs and Forte could use a match up like this. He finally rushed for over 100 yards last week against the Packers.
Giovani Bernard – I am not out on the New England Defense. It is hard to ignore the stats however. They are allowing the 5th most points to running backs. This might have to with being on the field for so much garbage time. Bernard hasn’t looked too bad either. The Bengals coaches have figured a way to get him in the end zone three times in three games. Since he’s well rested off of the bye in week four I expect big things from him in Foxboro. Prime time game, by the way.
Chris Ivory – He’s the guy until further notice.
Running Backs to Die With:
Alfred Morris – The Seattle defense won’t necessarily scare me away from quarterbacks. A guy like Cousins, yes. There isn’t a running back in the league I feel safe playing against them. Maybe Marshawn Lynch, but he’s on the Seahawks so that’s a bust. You may get a little lucky if you’re league is a PPR because Jay Gruden wants to throw to his running backs. Roy Helu could be a sneaky play in the deepest of leagues. For the most part you’re staying away from this match up.
Ben Tate – Something tells me he gets hurt again. I’m not rooting for injury. I would never do that. He has a history of this though. It’s kind of why he was never an every-down back in Houston. Also some guy named Foster. I realize Tennessee is giving up the 9th most FFP/G thus far but when your offensive coordinator say he’s going to use who ever is hot.. I’m simply not going to rush out and play this guy.
Stevan Ridley – Reminder: Stay away from Patriots running backs. Even when this guy does well he gets benched. It makes no sense.
Wide Receivers to Ride With:
Keenan Allen – Rivers is going to be throwing to somebody in that Jets secondary. It’ll be Allen more than not. He’s healthy now and as we saw last week he is will see the targets. He’s great for a PPR league.
A.J. Green – I love the prime time match ups. The Bengals have only played two Sunday night games with Andy Dalton under center. They lost both of those to Pittsburgh. New England isn’t Pittsburgh. Heck, they aren’t even New England. Green has over 100 receiving yards in the two games (he sat out week two with an injury) he has played this season. This week is probably the same result.
Brandon Marshall – The report out of Chicago has said he’s been healthier this week than he has been lately. He’s proved his heath won’t keep him out of the end zone. Again, Carolina isn’t as good as advertised.
Allen Hurns – He’s available in a tremendous amount of leagues and with Blake Bortles under center now the deep threat has returned. Why not if you’re desperate. Pittsburgh’s secondary is all hurt anyway.
Wide Receivers to Die With:
Are we facing some old white dudes in shorts on the Seattle defense?
Pierre Garcon – Although I love having a guy on Monday night I’m probably benching Garcon this week. I have receiver depth. I’m just crazy like that. If I didn’t I might be looking at a guy like Hurns. Anyone who isn’t going up against the Seattle secondary. They don’t give nicknames out to defenses who suck, ya know.
Sammy Watkins – New quarterback and the Lions secondary is good. Like Carolina defense circa 2013 good. I am staying away if I can.
Steve Smith Sr. – Just because I like a guy doesn’t mean I need to play him every week. Like when he plays the team allowing the fourth most amount of pints to opposing wide outs. Much like the Colts are. I know, I wrote Flacco into the Ride section of this piece. I guess that means I’ll get one of these calls right.
DeAndre Hopkins – Much like Smith Sr. I love Hopkins. Just not this week where he faces the Cowboys who have allowed the third fewest PPG to receivers.
Tight Ends to Ride With:
Delanie Walker – If he can shake the (Q) from his name this week I will bank on a guy who has scored three times in four games. Cleveland loves covering everyone but tight ends. Keep an eye on his status this week but he’s solid if he goes.
We’ll get you again next week Heath but then that’s it for a while.
Heath Miller – It’s rare when you can trust him two weeks in a row. The Jaguars love making this happen for you. I know. I asked them.
Owen Daniels – One of the reasons I like Flacco so much this week is his tight end. The Colts don’t cover tight ends too well either so look for Daniels to help out Flacco’s numbers a lot.
Tight Ends to Die With:
Martellus Bennett – I know, don’t yell at me. He’s the highest scoring tight end on the season thus far. Doesn’t mean I have to like his match up. For what Carolina doesn’t do well they actually cover tight ends pretty darn good. Ninth fewest PPG so far against the position.
Jaosn Witten – He’s fast becoming a citizen of dumpsville in standard leagues.
Dwayne Allen – Nope. not this week. I know how Luck loves his tight ends but Baltimore isn’t allowing anything to the position. They are the hardest defense for tight ends to go against. No one has reached 40 yards receiving versus them.
Defense/ Special Teams to Ride With:
Cincinnati – I’ll take Tom Brady’s demise for $100 please.
Cleveland – Are the Bengals not available? OK. Then whoever’s playing the Titans.
San Diego – The Brown are taken also? OK. Then give me the Jets opponent.
Defense/ Special Teams to Die With:
Baltimore – They are good but Andrew Luck has scored the most fantasy points in the league so far. I’m not risking that.
Arizona – Oh, if you want some excitement and some edge of your seat T.V. watching then by all means play them. I for one don’t want to watch Peyton Manning dismantle them because Drew Stanton can’t keep the Cardinals offense on the field. Don;t drop them. Just don’t play them this week.
New York Giants – Just in case Matty Ice figures it out this week. There are some better options this week. Look towards the G-Men in the future however.