The New England Patriots Are Now Pro Wrestling Heels

“What does this guy mean by ‘now?!?'” – Fans of the St. Louis Rams, New York Jets, Indianapolis Colts, and other casual National Football League followers out there.

Professional sports are, at their roots, forms of entertainment, and one of the oldest forms of storytelling involves battles of good versus evil. Religious texts, ancient paintings, folktales, imagined stories of superheroes, and massive Hollywood productions have told their own versions of such tales. Just as in real life, which is often seemingly unfair, there have, throughout history, been stories that ended with the evil force or the “bad guys” emerging victorious, if only for a period of time.

This basic plot is essentially the basis of professional wrestling. A hero, or babyface, stands for all that is right and is meant to delight audiences with his work inside of the ring and his actions outside of it, while his opposition, known as heels, look to do whatever possible to thwart this friend of the common man through any means necessary. A heel sometimes needs to use a weapon or cheat in a different way to get the job done, because winning is all that matters in the mind of that individual.

Ladies and gentlemen, the New England Patriots have embraced their role as the heels of the NFL. And it is going to be glorious.

More on that later.

The heel Patriots opened up their defense of their latest Super Bowl championship on Thursday night at home against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the evening began with the club essentially sticking two particular fingers up in the air and in the face of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, the man who dared to punish Brady and the Patriots for (allegedly) breaking rules. What could have been a basic start-of-the-season title celebration and banner unveiling, the type seen in sports leagues every year, instead began with a defiant orchestral tune.

Perhaps that music sounded familiar to you. There’s a reason for that.

This was just a coincidence, right? There is no chance that a character such as a World Wrestling Entertainment heel would do something similar. Oh. Right.

This would prove to be only a beginning of what was to come. Three all-time great players in the history of the Patriots carried versions of the Lombardi Trophy out to the center of the field, representing the first three Super Bowl championships won by New England. There was one more man to emerge from the darkness with a trophy in hand to symbolize the team’s Super Bowl XLIX victory. Would it be Brady? Perhaps beloved tight end Rob Gronkowski? Maybe it would be Super Bowl hero Malcolm Butler, who famously picked Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson off late in last February’s contest to seal the deal for the Patriots.

Nope. It was Patriots owner Robert Kraft.

The same Bob Kraft who initially denied, with disgust in his voice, that Brady and his coaching staff had anything to do with footballs being illegally deflated during the 2015 AFC Championship. The same Kraft who accepted the punishments handed down to the Patriots following an investigation into the Deflategate matter. The same Kraft who owns Major League Soccer side New England Revolution, and who has infuriated fans of the club by failing to provide a soccer specific stadium for the team.

Step aside, Vince McMahon. The NFL is the new best pro wrestling organization out there, and the Patriots are the top heels in the business.

Little did we know that the gimmick would get even better once the actual game began. The Pittsburgh coaching staff was visibly agitated during portions of the first half of the contest, and it was explained by the NBC commentary crew that the headsets of the Steelers were picking up the official game radio broadcast of the Patriots. It took about a minute or so after this information was made public for Twitter timelines to be filled with one word:

We now had Headsetgate, because, well, because why not?

What is often one of the more annoying things about a heel is that he happens to be very good at what he does. Ric Flair was both “the dirtiest player in the game” and also arguably the best overall pro wrestler in history. As great as he was playing the ultimate babyface that was seemingly stripped from a comic book, Hulk Hogan found new life and much success as “Hollywood Hogan” and the leader of the New World Order faction.

This Patriots regime has, by all accounts, likely bent the rules multiple times over the past decade and a half. You probably, unless you have some ties to the Patriots or to Boston/New England sports, believe that Brady had something to do with footballs being deflated last January. Even proud and loud haters of the Patriots would have to begrudgingly admit that this group of talent is impressive, perhaps the best team in the NFL at the start of the 2015 campaign.

There was a time during Thursday’s game when Brady had completed 19 – yes, 19 – consecutive pass attempts. He hit on 25-of-32 passes for 288 yards and four touchdowns, all of which were delivered to tight ends Gronkowski (3) and Scott Chandler (1). Dion Lewis, a young journeyman running back who suffered a serious leg injury that included ligament damage just a couple of years ago, looked like an every Sunday starter while filling in for the suspended LeGarrette Blount. The New England defense held a high-powered offense of the Steelers, one that was without star running back Le’Veon Bell (also suspended), in check.

It was a performance similar to those put on by the “Nature Boy” all those years ago. The Patriots styled. They profiled. They hit the Steelers with a finishing maneuver, a recovered onside kick in this scenario rather than a figure-four leglock. All that was missing was Brady capping off the night with a boisterous “Woooo!” into a live mic during a postgame interview.

Oh well. It is for the best that Brady and the Patriots leave viewers wanting more, a classic pro wrestling tactic. They’ve got a long season ahead of them, and the Patriots are currently the best thing going in the NFL today.

Next: Is Rob Gronkowski the Best Player in the NFL?

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